Words, ugh, just the mere thought of words makes me quiver. It's taken me some years to really decode the most important words. Unfortunately, they are the least used words in the English language. They might be the least used words in other languages too, but I'm only fluent in English.
We all have been broken by words and we have all broken others with our words. No one is exempt from this digression of the human spirit. It's inevitable, it's painful and it's hard to forget for both sides. Don't get me wrong, it is possible to forgive and have clear boundaries that you can't be with that person. I've seen people go through years and years of verbal abuse. I will never, ever advocate a person staying with someone who is abusive in any form. Remember though, forgiveness is for the healing of your own heart and less about the offender.
Then there is the flip side of the coin. I call them the "one and done" people. The hurtful words come out, land on someone and they run. They run forever and never look back. They do not take the time to look at their own part of the fiasco that happened. They just stop answering your calls. They stop coming around or they say they need some time and then they will contact you. You wait for years for that call, but it never comes. Whether you are the word sayer or the word receiver it leaves scars on everyone beyond yourselves.
That can be the negative side of words. We get it. We have done it and others have done it unto us. It's awful and it hurts...period! How do we change the scenario? How can we make a difference? Here are the relationship changing words: please, thank you, you're welcome, I love you and I'm sorry. Yep, you read it! That's it. Ten words that can create a beautiful relationship no matter who it is. These are the words that can be spoken from a heart of love and from a mind who has decided to spread kindness. These are the words that the "big people" speak. What do these amazing words have in common? Respect, honor, love, appreciation, kindness. All our relationships could use more of these words. These words have the power to tell your family, friends, co-workers, lovers that you respect them and you are respected by them. These words have the power to heal wounds and broken hearts. These words can bring together the divided and can cause people to stop and listen.
Yes, I've seen first hand a close relationship where one party could never say I'm sorry. I was actually in a relationship where the other person wouldn't say I'm sorry too. We've all been the recipient of a boss or co-worker telling us to do something without ever adding the word please. It becomes exhausting and perhaps a little degrading.
When my daughters were little the one thing I remember saying constantly was the phrase, "use your manners, please!" Then I would hear one daughter say to the other, "May I PLEEAASE have my toy now?" After a moment I would hear, "Thank you" then in a whisper, "finally, it was mine first." It's not the exact spirit that I was hoping for from my five year old, but now that they are older they get the point. To keep peace and harmony in our family using our manners is imperative. It changes the way we see each other. It puts the other in a place of honor and equality.
This is how you can transform your world, use these words. Use them, over use them, keep using them then see what happens. See how people soften and heal. See how you change. See how your family changes. Make the world a better place by using these beautiful words: please, thank you, you're welcome, I love you and I'm sorry.